Random
So. Another day. Nothing new. They're all the same. Just a matter of going around and doing whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing.
9am physio lab. Who the hell designed these things?! Going to the washroom every 30 minutes is not my idea of a lab. Well....the guys gave everyone a good laugh.....
For the first time in these three years, I went and spent $20 in hopes of having a chance of pulling my marks up. To the rest of the world, it seems I am not working as hard.....perhaps that's true.....and yes, I know......but I'm sorry, my head is dysfunctional and I don't know where to find the energy for anything.
Took a walk before going up for lecture. Kinda cold and windy....but I need air, I need to breathe. Those food trucks made me think a lot of things. And for the first time I noticed the writing on one of them. Life is always laughing at you....
Fuck. 4:40 and I get a call asking where I am. Where the hell could I be in this life of mine? If you haven't realized, it takes 10min to walk to the car and 10min to turn onto the street before I can actually start making my way back. Why don't you just drive me to and from school everyday?.....since you want to follow me 24/7, and you've got so much fucken time to do other ridiculous things.
Yes. I'm feeling bitter, and angry, and depressed, and exhausted, and hurt. What else could I be feeling when everything is going wrong? It used to be that when all else fails, at least I can still say I'm doing better than everyone else. And now, even that is down the drain. I know nothing and I feel like an idiot. So what do I have left? I really don't know.
I want a break, from everything. I want to go somewhere far away. I want silence. I want to be alone. I want to be able to sit around and fall asleep as I please without having to worry about anything. I want......
Never mind.
It doesn't matter.
9am physio lab. Who the hell designed these things?! Going to the washroom every 30 minutes is not my idea of a lab. Well....the guys gave everyone a good laugh.....
For the first time in these three years, I went and spent $20 in hopes of having a chance of pulling my marks up. To the rest of the world, it seems I am not working as hard.....perhaps that's true.....and yes, I know......but I'm sorry, my head is dysfunctional and I don't know where to find the energy for anything.
Took a walk before going up for lecture. Kinda cold and windy....but I need air, I need to breathe. Those food trucks made me think a lot of things. And for the first time I noticed the writing on one of them. Life is always laughing at you....
Fuck. 4:40 and I get a call asking where I am. Where the hell could I be in this life of mine? If you haven't realized, it takes 10min to walk to the car and 10min to turn onto the street before I can actually start making my way back. Why don't you just drive me to and from school everyday?.....since you want to follow me 24/7, and you've got so much fucken time to do other ridiculous things.
Yes. I'm feeling bitter, and angry, and depressed, and exhausted, and hurt. What else could I be feeling when everything is going wrong? It used to be that when all else fails, at least I can still say I'm doing better than everyone else. And now, even that is down the drain. I know nothing and I feel like an idiot. So what do I have left? I really don't know.
I want a break, from everything. I want to go somewhere far away. I want silence. I want to be alone. I want to be able to sit around and fall asleep as I please without having to worry about anything. I want......
Never mind.
It doesn't matter.
posted by NN at 10:36 pm
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